Poet of Love, Art of Life.

Delusions.

2010-04-19T08:27:00.000-07:00

It's either I choose to live in denial, or that I have a pretty good delusional mind.
I keep in my heart an image of a flawless man refusing to acknowledge the fact that people DO change over the years.

The uncertainty is killing me and I'm in no position to judge.
But if what is being speculated is true, this would be the first that you've broken my heart.

Time will tell, and till then..I will not interfere.
I'm sorry.

RIP.

2010-04-17T07:45:00.000-07:00

This is for the times that you brought many lovers together, patched many broken hearts and made many, smile. This is for the times that you made me and Ket share laughter and tears.

One for the road.
Semoga rohmu dicucuri rahmatNYA, Achik.
Al-Fathiha.

GTH.

2010-04-17T07:39:00.000-07:00

Baby, you stretch my patience a lil bit more and you're gonna wake up a sleeping giant. Please spare me some of this heartache, i'd rather pain and tears then being left feeling.....empty.

***

Why make someone a priority when you're nothing but an option in their lives?

The Dating Game.

2010-04-15T05:48:00.000-07:00

"All my friends used to tell me about how things might work out with these dipsticks because they knew someone, who knew someone, who dated a dipstick just like mine. That girl ended up getting married and living happily ever after. That's the exception and we're not the exception..we're the rule."

***

I'm exhausted.
Of giving myself reasons why you're not calling, cooking up excuses why you're not texting or consoling myself how busy you are at work that you get home too exhausted to even reply my msn chat.

You're not the same guy I know anymore and I'm turning into a madly paranoid woman for all the wrong reasons. I dont want to stop trying but if you dont show me a reason good enough to continue fighting, I might just raise the white flag. The stakes are too high for this one, baby.

It doesnt mean I love you any lesser,
it probably just means its for the better.
I miss you.

***

"So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit.
No exceptions."
- He's just not that into you.

Reminisce

2010-04-01T06:35:00.000-07:00

Adimuska says:
nurul huda binte jasman
Adimuska says:
sila tampil ke hadapan
∂ινασƒѕσяяσω® says:
why am i always on trial?
Adimuska says:
awk didapati bersalah
Adimuska says:
kerana awk berjaya memikat hati saya
Adimuska says:
dari itu saya jatuh kan hukuman terhadap awak
Adimuska says:
awk akan dipenjara kan seumur hidup di dalam hati saya
Adimuska says:
muktamad

∂ινασƒѕσяяσω® says:
SAYA BANGKANG BANGKANG!
Adimuska says:
kenapa bangkang
∂ινασƒѕσяяσω® says:
pasal yang arif. terms & conditions cuma mengatakannnnn bahawa defendant hanya harus berjumpa plaintiff before nature can take its course
∂ινασƒѕσяяσω® says:
kenapa defendant didapati bersaLah terlalu awal yg arif?
Adimuska says:
Jikalau bergitu
Adimuska says:
mahkahmah di tangguh
Adimuska says:
mahkahmah memberi tempoh pada si persalah
Adimuska says:
dan yg disalah untuk berjumpa
Adimuska says:
sekian wassalam

Adimuska says:
Saya Zaidi Aziz
Adimuska says:
suka kepada cik Nurul Huda
Adimuska says:
saya amat tertarik daripada wajah nye yg "sweet" dan bentuk badannye yg "montel"
Adimuska says:
dan setelah beramah mesra
Adimuska says:
di telepon kepunyaan arwah ibu saya
Adimuska says:
saya turut senang berbual mesra dgnye
Adimuska says:
sehingga saya tak sadar
Adimuska says:
yg saya memarahi nye tak tentu pasal
Adimuska says:
ibarat kan menembaknye dgn berdas das tembakan air pistol
Adimuska says:
walaupon hanya berapa hari kenalan
Adimuska says:
kita masih ada lagi hari untuk mengenal isi hati masing2
Adimuska says:
sekiranye esok tiada
Adimuska says:
saya cuma mengharap dan mendoakan agar di temui di syurga
Adimuska says:
the end
∂ινασƒѕσяяσω® says:
insyaALLAH.
∂ινασƒѕσяяσω® says:
*rolls credits*
Adimuska says:
*MuskaCorp productions*

***

and THIS is the ADI i miss so dearly.
We've gone far, are we still who we are?

Joo.

2010-03-24T00:53:00.000-07:00

Sometimes,
all I want is to cuddle at the end of a tiring day with someone trustworthy.
Nothing fancy, just you and me.
Snuggled in the cold, close.

That's why I settle with Joo.
He is the MOST trustworthy male species anyone could ever find nowadays.

Final.

2010-03-23T01:37:00.000-07:00

Could have done better,
But I'm thankful.

Alhamdulillah.

Choked.

2010-03-12T23:04:00.000-08:00

I choke back on those three words everytime I'm with you.

***

I'm afraid that by the time you succeed in tearing down all these walls that I've built for the past 4 years, you'll see nothing but a hollow self.

And then you'll take your leave, just like everybody else.

So...I'll take this week to calm my nerves and when i return,
I will be the Nurul Huda you fell in love with.
That I promise you.

I'm not quite sure if its good news or bad news.

***

Soul-searching, hibernation mode on.
Till next week loves, so long & good night.

2010-02-02T09:56:00.001-08:00

"The man who brought you warmth, is sadly also the one that froze you to death."

***

Congratulations, love.
You have just made me feel...cheap.

Opposites Attract.

2010-01-30T00:37:00.000-08:00

Today, i finally understood why the most beautiful woman is in the arms of a not-so good looking man and how a drop dead gorgeous man can be with a simpleton.

The reasons are beyond what words can give you.

What i dont understand is,
what just happened to me?

Hello world,
Huda is back.

Blessings.

2009-11-11T01:18:00.000-08:00

From the bottom of my heart....
Thank you, everyone.

For all your well-wishes, presents, prayers and the constant non-stop qn of "when are you getting a bf?". Hahah.

I appreciate all your kind thoughts.
*hugs.

Tired.

2009-11-10T09:55:00.000-08:00

I know you felt guilty & i know you woke up to the hollow sadness that i feel too.
For making up by counting down every minute,
For staying by my side, for making me laugh and for making me cry.

Thank you baby.
*big hug*

***

Huda is feeling very unlike herself these few weeks.
Please let me get back to normal.

November Rain.

2009-11-02T09:52:00.000-08:00

It can't Rain forever.

***

November is my favourite month.
But this year I'm facing the most miserable moments of it.

11th, hurry come bring me some smiles.
(:

***

Happy 25th Ket.
Miss you.

Sting.

2009-10-24T09:46:00.000-07:00

You're playing especially well with others now, making both work and social occasions tons of fun. And when you offer funny little compliments and generally show an interest, that attention comes right back to you.

Is partial confession considered "generally show an interest"?
*winks*

Maximum Impact.

2009-10-18T21:48:00.000-07:00

I havent felt this way...
this happy,
this contented,
this beautiful...
...in the past 3 long years.

Thank you baby.

Life is Beautiful.

2009-10-15T07:23:00.000-07:00

Life, for the past 'dusty' month has been beautiful.
Raya was celebrated in small scale, forgivness seeked and obtained.
Love was shared & cherished... and happiness, was all round.

For that I hope it will last forever.

***

My itinery for the month was hell packed.
I suppose FB albums would have explained it all,
taking my own sweet time to upload my life on multiply.

Till more regular updates (when im back in sch), dear followers.
Please dont miss me too much.

Dreams.

2009-09-11T07:34:00.000-07:00

What went wrong was probably the way I let you into my heart,
shared my dreams and my smile.

***

You were never part of the plan, dear..but i love you anyway.

This I Promise you.

2009-09-10T07:35:00.000-07:00

My near "loss of a friend" (and a phone)experience really opened my eyes.

Eventually i know that nothing will work out.
(i can bet my 90% on this) but to lose a friend..
Especially a friend that you enjoy talking to, is a big loss.

I promise to never take things for granted anymore.
To be less arrogant & be more humble.
To be less rude & more polite.
To be less of my alter-ego & just be Huda.
(quite a challenge,syammie's gonna miss this.)

I promise that no matter RAIN or KET (haha, RAIN OR SHINE),
I'm sticking to my principles.

I cannot promise you much,
But this i promise you.

22.

2009-09-06T01:43:00.000-07:00

When she was 22 the future looked bright
But she's nearly 30 now and she's out every night
I see that look in her face she's got that look in her eye
She's thinking how did I get here and wondering why

It's sad but it's true how society says
Her life is already over
There's nothing to do and there's nothing to say
Til the man of her dreams comes along picks her up and puts her over his shoulder
It seems so unlikely in this day and age

She's got an alright job but it's not a career
Wherever she thinks about it, it brings her to tears
Cause all she wants is a boyfriend
She gets one-night stands
She's thinking how did I get here
I'm doing all that I can

It's sad but it's true how society says
Her life is already over
There's nothing to do and there's nothing to say
Til the man of her dreams comes along picks her up and puts her over his shoulder
It seems so unlikely in this day and age

Idiocracy.

2009-09-05T01:26:00.000-07:00

Dear God..
If you needed me to settle with an idiot,
at least make him good-looking.

***

I realise that I have been sucha bitch.
Probably because I started judging and comparing you with alot of other people.
(or probably because deep down that is my nature? hahaha.)

And then when that realisation actually sank in,
i started feeling guilty and all i wanted was to be myself and for you to accept me and my friendship the way i am.

but the more we became ourselves,
i feel as if we're starting to turn each other off.
(it is times like this that i miss that SNAG of an ex boyf)

I'm trying to make an effort here, but i dont see you doing it anymore.
Am i already too late?

Or do i follow my gut feelings and let this one go away?
I've made much mistakes that i do not want to regret this one.

GAAAH.

The Married Men.

2009-09-04T08:31:00.000-07:00

Its hot red, its definitely Italian,
and it sits right perfectly in between your legs.
*evil laughs*

- the married men on Gilera. *winks

now if you know me well enough,
you'd know why im smiling like a mad woman at their description of a red gilera.
:D

***

Like how i'm gonna start sorting out my Notes..
Its about time i start sorting out the emotional baggage/heart/feelings left.

Ahoy, weekends!

New Urban Male.

2009-08-29T06:44:00.000-07:00

to hairi whom i USED TO find ugly waist down,
i'm sorry. i take back ALL my words of you being not good looking because today..

boy, today..you're one helluva hotshot.
(and the fact that you're a nice guy makes it all better)

GO YEN FENN, GO! *winks

***

UP in 3d with Yenny made me laugh till i cried and cry till i laughed!
Thanks babe, for the company..the censored jokes & Amitabh Bachan.
(and thanks Mas, for joinin us for buka!)

It was a good day, and i bet the week will get better.
:)

Goodbye, My lover.

2009-08-21T08:44:00.000-07:00

"whatever happens..you'll always remain that innocent little good girl.
and that is the image i will forever keep in my heart"

***

The past 3 weeks have been agonizing, with me trying so hard to keep myself up and running preparing for the exams. A subtle reminder of 2006. Reflected back upon memories and cried buckets after buckets of sorrow and came to realise that i've turned rather selfish and arrogant. One i mistook for strength.

There are so many things that I missed. That I dearly want back in my life but fretting over it wont change a damn thing now, can it? *sigh* It's well about time to let go of everything. Like everyone, I want a taste of happiness and you're damn right I will be choosy about that. *winks

Huda needs guidance when her own light is flickering of uncertainty.
To let go, to move on and most importantly to be sincere.

Now that everything is over..Let's start afresh, shall we?.
Would you take my hand and walk with me?

Veronika decides to die.

2009-08-09T06:46:00.000-07:00

"Each human being is unique, each with their own qualities, instincts, forms of pleasure and desire for adventure. However, society always imposes on us a collective way of behaving, and people never stop to wonder why they should behave like that. They just accept it, the way typist accepted the fact that the QWERTY keyboard was the best possible one. Have you ever met anyone in your entire life who asked why the hands of a clock should go in one particular direction and not in the order?"

***

Through the eyes of Veronika, I see a different picture of life.
It triggered a feeling that has long been surpressed deep down.

And after a very long time, I actually felt real fear, panic attacks, depression.
Bitterness.

How is it that my restrictions are being viewed as a weakness and not an "asset".
Why is it that my indifference in certain areas be taken that I'm a boring person and not just... "different".

Why the negative view?

Sempurna.

2009-08-01T23:43:00.000-07:00

it wasn't my idea of a perfect wedding, but it was filled with love.
and seeing them both happy, it was all that mattered.

for everything your future holds hun, i wish you luck and love.

Congratulations on your marriage.
*hugs

The Single Girl's Guide to Wedding Season Blues.

2009-07-31T23:48:00.000-07:00

Perfect Timing is it not?
MSN entertained my 1 minute of reading time, soothed my nerves, calmed my racing hearts and gave me back my stable hands.

Thank you.

***

It's the peak of summer, so that means it's still wedding season! I'm pumped to party. I feel mentally and financially prepared this year, in part because I've been saving my money for all the gifts, flights, and dresses. But last week, I was listening to a friend stress about going to a wedding alone, and I remembered, all too clearly, the days of the wedding season funk.

Sometimes, a single girl gets upset when she anticipates seeing all her married friends at a wedding. She starts to imagine the looks of pity, probing questions, having to explain herself, the onset of feelings of isolation, and people thinking she's a freak. This can also happen pre-baby showers and high school reunions — any place where marriage or family (a family other than yours) is being celebrated or where you might see lots of couples.

Symptoms start to appear the week or day before the event, but you don't really connect them to the wedding. You just experience heightened sensitivity about your single status, sadness, self-pity, and/or irritability. You fantasize about freezing your eggs or adopting a baby from Malawi. You complain to your mom a lot, too. And then after she has listened to you whine, you tell her she doesn't know what it's like since she met Dad at a beach fraternity party in 1968 and hasn't looked around since.

Here's what to do:
1. Acknowledge your feelings. It's not wrong to be bummed.
2. Pamper yourself or do something selfish. (After spending so much time and money on other people, you deserve it!)
3. Get a mani-pedi or buy something that will make you feel hot and/or expensive.
4. Try not to exhaust your mom's patience. She probably already goes above and beyond by reading your blog every day.
5. Go on a date.
6. Hold off on filing those adoption papers.
7. Put on a smiley face for the event. This day is not about you.

Time and time again, I have found that I was only imagining that stuff about people pitying me. Friends have not been fixating on my single status, because no one thinks that much about other people and their problems. Who has the time? I was projecting. So there you have it! It's all in your head.

***

All set and ready, that's exactly what I'm going to do.
"Put on a smiley face for the event." But this day, is really about me.

For those who have been giving me moral support, thank you.
*loves*

"The lamps are different but the light is the same."

2009-07-31T23:18:00.000-07:00

My deepest condolences for Yasmin Ahmad's Family.

***

Shock greeted me upon learning of her passing.
My favourite director of all times.

Yasmin paints life with HD color on the silverscreen.
She portrays the real world in her films, real passion in her words, real lives in her movements.
Pretty sad, now that we've lost one more great thinker.

Let us continue to remember all her ideology and how she view life as!
Sepet, Gubra, Mukhsin, Muallaf & Talentime..

Aah well, i suppose life goes on.

"I'm going to kench and then have a date with the sun."

Saturday.

2009-07-25T10:23:00.000-07:00

Public Enemies is a MUST watch for you depp-bale lovers.
Even if you're not a fan, its a movie worth every cent.

***

Saturday started with my sister and a rainbow over the lake.
The promise of a beautiful day ahead.

Lunch + Public Enemies with my UOB companions - Joey & Saly.

Aidil's 21st.
(although my stay was very short, i was very glad i didnt miss this one)

Thank you beautiful people, for painting my saturday with fun and laughter.
:)

Saturday Nite Fever!

2009-07-24T09:14:00.000-07:00

JOHNNY-OH-SO-GORGEOUS-DEPP!

CANT WAIT, CANT WAIT, CANT WAITTT!
I will not let anything affect my going-to-be perfect SATURDAY!

I promise.

Speedometer.

2009-07-23T09:05:00.000-07:00

Cruising down the highway at 70km/hr was an improvement for this scared cat.
That tight grip on the steering wheel makes it seem as though releasing the pressure for even a little bit would harm everyone.

Practice would make it perfect and in time,
I might just be as good as you.

Till then, let's pray hard that i get to live my life to the fullest.
And not harm any soul in the making.
:)

Thank you for those who believed.
For you, i have faith.

Define HOT.

2009-07-22T09:08:00.000-07:00

For one of the most perfect guys in the world,
Happy Blessed Birthday, Dil.

BITCHED.

2009-07-21T09:50:00.000-07:00

Jeez, thanks Fy.

I LOVE YOU TOO.

Bye Bye Mr Foo. :(

2009-07-18T12:43:00.000-07:00

Today marks the end of a long journey and the start of a new race.
No more crowded place filled with SCDF(hot)boys lingering around smoke infested hallways.
No more naggy trainers askin me to check my mirrors.
No more baby 128.

No more Mr Foo who couldnt stop eating Halls sweets, Gabby Gabriel who enlightens me on my tuesday afternoons and no more Davin James (oh-so-goddammed-gorgeous) Cook.

As much as i'm going to miss my trainers & training ground, I'm happy and contented.
Now my training ground is much, MUCH more bigger.

It's 'bout time we race 'em autobots, don't you think?
What say you?
*winks

Comeback Kid.

2009-07-15T08:30:00.000-07:00

Danny: Dont you wanna come back for Live Audio?

Me: You mean, you don't mind if i come back to help and join you guys?

Danny: i mean, can la.

Me: OF COURSE I WANT TO COME BACK TO LIVE AUDIO!

Hahah. You don't know how happy i was when you asked me that question, I was feeling rather left out (bummer okay since i love live audio like mad) and lost cos i dunno anything and all the juniors were asking me what and when and how. And it was sucky not knowing anything when i used to know everything.

Live Audio's my safe haven..when i need to run away from everything else.
It's the place where i feel close to you..where memories live, where i can feel that you're safe and alive. Somehow, somewhere.

Thank you Danny.
I'll join you guys pretty soon enough!

Zombiefied.

2009-07-14T08:26:00.000-07:00

Everyday i walk around like an aimless zombie carrying a load of emotional baggage in my heart. And everyday, the load gets heavier. Its so difficult to look at someone with so much love only to find so much sadness. My biggest fear is that I grow to love you so much that eventually turn into a selfish control freak.

*sigh*

and the mad-dash of projects isn't making it any better.
I've never in the whole course of the past 4 semesters felt this drained out before.

Year 3 is out to kill me.
argh!

Life in a Metro.

2009-07-12T01:21:00.000-07:00

Monty: I have a friend who bought a car and stored it in the garage. He has never driven it. He says he will only drive it when the traffic lights turn green.

Shruti: *laughs* How would he know if the traffic lights has turned green if he doesnt drive it out?

Monty: Precisely. You will never know. So take a chance baby, take a chance.

***

Have you ever thought, that just maybe...
You belong with me?

Almost Lover.

2009-07-10T11:00:00.000-07:00

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should have known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

***

I might have won the game,
but have i won the battle?

Acting sessions.

2009-07-07T09:29:00.000-07:00

Scrap the KTM, buy the sports bike.
You'll look smashing hot on it.

***

A shot at improving my self-confidence turned to a gawking session when a certain malay speaking Brit-Chinese took me for my 100 minutes journey today. I swore at how unfair i judged him back then when he first came on air.

He has that flair that got heads turning.
Sense of humor that cracked me laughing, An X-Factor like no other, a tinge of cockiness that i find irresistable and a bouce of a young soul.

DJC has one of the most beautiful set of eyes I've ever seen and yes, perfect nose with a killer smile. Enough to melt my night under the full moon. Beautiful.

He walks like a champion, talks like a champion and smells like a champion.
Thank you - 100 minutes worth of drama.

***

And yes, full-face helmet please to protect your perfect face + natural blushed skin.
So "at least if you die, you die pretty"

Michael Buble.

2009-07-04T00:55:00.000-07:00

Perfection, at its very (flawless) best.

Scorpio.

2009-06-27T08:06:00.000-07:00

There can be no doubt that your main need now is security.
If you're confused as to your real feelings, you may make a promise you can't keep.
It's important to slow down and not let others push you into a corner.

***

I really hope I am strong enough not to succumb to your sweet nothings.
Because I don't think i'm ready to see you go back on your words and see myself crumble because of those words.

Friend.

2009-06-26T07:27:00.000-07:00

Record breaking News!

In an attempt to cheer me up and not let me spoil my evening with haunting thoughts of an overly stressed teenager, the (HOT) boy announced in public: that he is NOT HOT.

***

That idiotic statement made me laugh and i knew i shouldnt spoil my Friday.
For making me smile, for literally pushing me to pay for lunch (which i counterattacked and paid the bill finally), for the movie & the mango tango..
Thank you.

You're hot & i love you, man.
:)

Hurt.

2009-06-25T07:19:00.000-07:00

I will do just as what my consultant has advised me to do;
"Let it GO."

***

I was rather taken aback knowing that my fears has come true.
That you would think of me that way.

It hurt, big time but oh wells.

How many times do we have to go through something this similar?
I will let it go again and I will always be here when you come back from whereever you have been to.
It will never be the same again, but i will still love you.

That much.

***

If you don't know me by now,
You will never never never know me.

Big 2-0.

2009-06-20T00:58:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, darling.

I know times are tough, and i wish you strength to go through every minute of it. For happier moments, more killer heels and gorgeous boys to look at..

..God bless you.
*hugs

Faith.

2009-06-19T10:38:00.000-07:00

sometimes the things you see might not be real,
some things are visible only through faith.

***

contentment comes in different packages.
for a large part of my life, i'm very much thankful and contented.

for everything that i have and everything that i don't have.
i believe that its all for the best.

i have faith in that, i have faith in myself and i have faith in ALLAH.

***

LA Chalet pics are up on multiply (link's on my sidebar).
Gimme sometime to post up in Audible k, Minor?
:)

blessings.

2009-06-18T09:04:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAIKAL!

Whereever you are,
in whatever mood you are in,
for whatever things you wish for..

God Bless you.

From a secretary to another.

2009-06-17T20:50:00.000-07:00

I believe that you are born with leadership and you will make us proud.

I believe that she has the strength to be the first lady of the club and the backbone for the president & vice-president. I believe that the new committee has very high potential in moving the club forward and attaining success.

I believe that if we stick with one another through thick & thin, we can get through everything. I believe in each and every one of you.

Congratulations seniors, on passing down the position (and workload) to a very deserving bunch.

Thank you for the mind-blowing night, and thank you my pillars of strength. For star-gazing, moon capturing, waiting for the break of dawn snoring sessions by the pool. It has been and will always be a pleasure stayin by your side. It was the time of my life.

This boy is fire.

2009-06-13T00:26:00.000-07:00

After I said that, oh
That's when he got close to me
All the other music stopped but the violin
Conversation, one dance, sip a bottle of the best
Now I'm asking myself "what has he done to me?"

This can't turn into love, no
The rose petals were all in the air
Just might need that firetruck
To come and get me

Dip me in water
'Cause this boy is fire
It's got a hold of me

Can't say I don't want it
'Cause he really put it on me
In a way that I don't know
If I'm going or coming

***

I need this 2 weeks to calm myself down.
*evil grinz

Mr Pierre.

2009-06-12T00:08:00.000-07:00

"When hot meets hot....
...they sizzle."

***

For your sizzling hot company on a friday evening,
THANK YOU!

Term Break, here i come!

Dark Temptationsss.

2009-06-11T23:57:00.000-07:00

The following ad - Axe, Dark Temptation Fragrances - won a Gold Lion Award in the Cannes International Advertising Festival.

***

I've been watchin this ad for quite sometime now and it fascinates me so much that i really wished a guy made of chocolate would break off his nose and put it on my ice cream.

AWWW, HOT NOSE COVERED IN CHOCOLATE!
suka sekali!!

Guidance.

2009-06-10T02:13:00.000-07:00

"I wished you were right here beside me,
to hold my hand and guide me through."

I thought i'd need to hit your head to the wall for you to get back to your senses.
I thought wrong. You're so much stronger than I am.

You're the reason that i still Believe.

2009-06-08T02:38:00.000-07:00

Always love your loved ones & show them how you feel before it's too late.. You will never know when they will be gone from your embrace.. If you were given a time to bestow petals of everlasting compassion & love to your love ones, today is the day. Love them while they are still here...

***

I'm so in love with a certain slit eyed-perfect nose-gorgeous smile-fake hair-walking statue that i am smiling to myself like a mad girl. hahah.

And then there's that tall, dark and handsome with perfect nose malay-indian love at first sight boy who keeps sweeping me off my feet.

Awww. God is great.
This is the damned reason i am single and loving it.

Guess i've gotten huda back into my body.
Rauf, it's back full blast.
*winks

Emotional.

2009-06-06T08:10:00.001-07:00

"this feels like breaking up all over again. even the words that come out from our mouths are the still the same. why are we doing this? after all these years? why are we doing this now?"

***

it has been the longest, most tiring 2 weeks in a long long long time.
it felt like fate played a prank on me and brought me back to visit the past.

and to think i succumbed to the emotions that has been surpressed for so long.
*deep sigh*

one more week - 2 ICAs, and then i'm off for a break.
that one we all need desperately.

"One reason God created time was so that there would be a

place to bury the failures of the past."

Napfa.

2009-05-27T11:28:00.000-07:00

The best 3 years of my life,
You can never take away from me.

***

NAPFA was terrible, but i did it anyway.
For the sake of it.
And somehow it took part of the emotions away.

It was like my heart was swelling with pride.
We were smacked in another class and everyone was cheering on for her and they were so envious of all her good scores and i couldn't stop beaming.
Crazy i know, but Lim Fang Ying.. I am so proud of you today.
(nope, im too much in love with men to turn lesbian, so dun worry.)

Thank you for being my number 50 and a champion at that.

I love you.
[and i love you people who hasnt stopped naggin at me to 'get over it'.
you know who you guys are, thank you.]

The Last Goodbye.

2009-05-26T08:11:00.000-07:00

Rasullullah s.a.w bersabda:
Manusia Hawa dijadikan daripada rusuk manusia Adam,
bukan dari kepalanya untuk menjadi atasnya,
bukan dari kakinya untuk jadi alasnya,
malah dari sisinya untuk menjadi teman hidupnya..
dekat dengan lengannya untuk dilindungi,
dan dekat dengan hati untuk dicintai.

***

Knowing that after all these years,
you're still regretting your decision is very much overwhelming for me.

I hope you weren't just twisting your words.
That part of me will always, always, always love you.

Let's leave it at that and part ways.
It's about time you end your suffering.

*hugs

Celebrations!

2009-05-24T07:55:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 5TH BABYBOY.
love you.

Ransacked.

2009-05-23T07:54:00.000-07:00

Stolen Pictures.
For the Past 2 Generations, the board has never been locked and NOTHING was stolen.
And now.....

If this is an internal affair and some kind of sick joke, its not funny.
If this is the work of a crazy psychopath, please..get a life, or rather get treatment.
If this is sabotage...c'mon people, what are we? In primary school? Come straight and tell us straight to the face. We're pretty much open people who can talk perfect sense.

We're trying so very hard to build the club and you people so easily crush our efforts.
(insert alvin yap's vulgarities)

It wasn't just my efforts you ruined, it was the club's ray of hope.
You happy now?

Apologies.

2009-05-20T06:44:00.000-07:00

To the boy who got angry because i went out for lunch with another (hotter) boy without telling him and causing him to find out from his mistress a.k.a my best friend, I'm sorry.

I still love you ok.
:)

Oh Mandy!

2009-05-18T06:34:00.000-07:00

Pre Celebrations for Amanda's 19th Birthday was simple and smooth sailing.
Since FY will be away for KL tournament on her actual birthday and there's no lunch on Tues & Wed we brought the surprise 3 days earlier.

As simple as it may be, we celebrated with much love and laughter.
(and a tad of shock came along as the truth reveals itself)

We love you Mandy, hope you are blessed with happiness all round.
:)

Reverse Walks of Life.

2009-05-12T09:48:00.000-07:00

One fine evening on a ride home in the packed bus I stare out the window watchin the scenery pass by in the opposite direction. Somehow it felt like life was being rewinded and how great it would be if we could pause it to the best times of our lives.

Reversing 2 years back, was the first time i stepped into the semi-cold room facing many unknown people. Live Audio Orientation 2007 was a nightmare where the people were scary and being alone makes the whole journey worst. I wanted a difference, my whole life revolves around being a library assistant. At this what might be final phase of study, i would like to tryout something different. For close to a year, all we did was stare at nothing on the ceiling or past through whoever's face that was adressing us and Live Audio was boring like hell. The only source of minimum interaction was with Haikal, Mas, Razis & Widuri. Haikal, as ironic as it can be. And then it got better. Like how he decided to open his mouth abit more, we opened up our hearts and braced ourselves for the changes. Within one semester, i fell madly back in love.

Now, 2 years after that horrifying orientation, we come to meet the same semi-cold space that brought us all together. I wouldn't say that the Orientation was any better this time, but the atmosphere was definitely by far the best anyone who stayed long enuff in LA would have experienced. It was filled with love and friendships and although ALOT was lacking, we pulled it through. None of it would be possible if not for my dear crew. One i have grown to love so very much over the years. Thank you, each and everyone of you. For your patience and hard work for Live Audio's Orientation 2009.

I didn't join live audio because of a boy,
i stayed because of a few strong pillars that held me through.
I love you and I love Live Audio.

THE LIST.

2009-05-11T07:14:00.000-07:00

Woke up to a pleasant surprise this morning.
Seems like Year 2's the best (so far) for me.
If I work a little harder, I might just get IN.
Syukur Alhamdulillah.

And yes, that baby is mine again, 2 in a row.

Dear Year 3, please be nice and smooth for me.
Thank you.

Happy 2nd.

2009-05-09T01:04:00.000-07:00

I left imprints of us where you can see,
one fine day if you returned for a visit.

***

My resolutions took a 360degree turn the moment my eyes met yours.

I knew I would have lived all these days alone in regret if not for that one night. My conscience is clear, my head is free.

Why won't my heart let me live in peace?
I miss you.

If you see my friend
Doesn't matter where or when
Tell me if you see K.

3 weeks.

2009-05-08T07:52:00.000-07:00

*Aidil pats my shoulder and smiles*

In 3 weeks, he & Nona would be done with school and off for IPP.
Now, what do i do when i miss you guys?

No more Aidil showing off his bonch hairy tummy and farting all over clubroom regardless of who is behind him.

"tengok gambar je uh hudaaa."

Insanity.

2009-05-05T08:41:00.001-07:00

"lion king chose a perfect boy to be his best friend..
..someone so hot, someone retained."

***

i've been certified mad today.

i wouldn't try to deny that.
i realised that i've been thinking aloud, thus getting words that are not supposed to be heard by others out of my mouth before i can stop it. i've been checking out men and rating them like a bitch. huda doesnt do that okayyy. that might be her evil twin or probably her alter ego. huda is a nice girl. -_-"

i've been complaining non-stop of how school is sucha chore now (with the temp taking and tapping cards to EVERYWHERE we go) i understand its for safety measures and yes, thank you for taking precautions but i can't help but feel....restricted, with no sense of freedom.

especially for me who doesnt have much of it to start with.
sometimes, when your most comfortable place is no longer your safe haven. when you mingle with hypocrites where you have to constantly check your backs to make sure knives dont hit you. when you live your life in constant fear of going wrong. you tend to go insane.

and the fact that my eyes and heart cannot stop searching for a familiar face in the sea of people is not making it any better. i search for you everyday. every single chance i get. its maddening to know something will never come but still hope for it.

oh dear heart, please give up already.

A DECADE'S JOURNEY.

2009-05-02T08:25:00.000-07:00

(Yes, i'm a fan of Tomok & New Boyz and I'm not shy to admit it.)

My once-sengau-sejarah-mungkin-berulang boy has climbed his victory ladder with much patience. I've watched snippets of his performance @ OIAM '09 (courtesy to nora & zee nb-ians) and i must say i'm amazed how much he has grown. Has been a decade now..like always, you never fail to capture hearts and I'm proud of you. Now that you've won big time, don't forget your promise and hurry come back to Singapore with the rest of the gang.

Kudos Tomok, you're ONE IN A MILLION.

SCHOOL.

2009-04-30T05:54:00.000-07:00

First week of school has passed by.
The lazy fats are getting used to waking up and rushing not to miss the bus but the brain is reluctant to think of all these serious studying.
I'm procrastinating the completion of tutorials, always pushing it aside and putting lappy as the utmost importance.

I've been back since week zero for clubcrawl, and school is a mad-dash of everything.
The lunch queue is long, the lifts are jammed packed and the seats are all taken.
Leaving us with boring-i-cannot-get-a-good-view-of-the-~~hot~~boys-walking-in seats.
There's SO MANY people in school that you get drowned in the midst of it.

If i didn't see things wrongly, you're back.
But are you back for good or are you just back for her?

javachip.

2009-04-29T07:33:00.000-07:00

He is a normal boy next block javanese who doesnt drink nor smoke.
He is relatively skinny, tanned and short.
His nose is tolerable equipped with a great sense of humor.
He is not exactly my taste of perfection.

He reminds me of Khairil Yusof and i think he is CUTE.

"my friend does too, so find my friend."

DANCE.

2009-04-28T07:08:00.000-07:00

I've got fingers crossed and prayers sent.
I've done mine as much as i can.
Please let's make this work.
Just please.

***

There are so many good guys out there, and i've went round and round.
Why am i still stucked to a certain gorgeous nosed, perfectly chiseled JAWS with tanned skinny muscles?

Final Destination.

2009-04-26T07:38:00.000-07:00

1 more day to Year 3.
How time flies.

5 core modules, 1 optional elective.
The smell of success.

This sem's going to be good.
With or without your existence.

I promise.

Club Crawl.

2009-04-24T07:03:00.000-07:00

"I get by with a little help from my friends."
- John Lennon

***

I'm gettin by with ALOT of help from my friends. Club Crawl 09 was everything better than what i expected. I was asking for too much when i hoped for 08 to replay. But what i got when i opened my heart, was sweet. Very sweet.

Stronger bond of friendship. And i cannot say enough thanks to all that played part of it for the success of the event.

For my girls that put up with my picky behaviour, working hand in hand for the noticeboard & clubroom - THANK YOU!

For the boys who practically did ALL the hard labour and helping us where we couldnt reach - THANK YOU!

Nona, Aidil, Yazid & Farhan.
Thanks for taking time to visit our humble booth.

I love you all.
(pics are up on my gallery@multiply.)

***

It might have taken a year, but i made your dream come true.
Now would you please make mine.

Showdown.

2009-04-20T08:11:00.000-07:00

Its like waking up with your heart detached from your body.

***

2 days starting tomorrow.
One helluva journey baby.

Top 20!

2009-04-17T08:07:00.000-07:00

Qie and I made a deal to list out the
TOP 20 MOST WANTED LIST on our blogs tonight.

If you know me very well, my list of things/people that i want are VERY long, equipped with the most difficult requests that contains 1% probability (stats qie, stats) of happening.

so here are my top 20 wishlists (as of tonight) and i will try my very best to make sure that they are not at all absurd. (:

1. I'd like to get that damned driving license by the end of this year.
2. I want Aidil and his friend along with their amazing software to be able to restore back Aidil's lost presentation slides.
3. I want Club Crawl to work out perfect like last year, maybe better.
4. I want the Dance party to be approved and rockin NYP very soon (Freaky Z pls, its ok if you dun call W.A.B.)
5. I'd like to maintain my GPA of more than 3.0 so that i can still get the DL for this sem.
6. I want to ACE calculus.
7. A slim camera to fit my slim GUESS handbag. Canon/Nikon Slimmmm Camera pleaseee.
8. My Nikes are worn out, pray i get enuff allowance to get that new hottie displayed at wisma.
9. Louis Vuitton Handbag to match the LV wallet wawan gave me last b'day. (yes, im saving up right this minute for this baby)
10. Agnes B. bracelet which Mis promised me to consider buyin for me. hahahahah
11. Gorgeous black top from Levi's.
12. Another 3/4 BLACK pants.
13. Maggi goreng from ITE bishan vendor.
14. Buy a 4Room HBD flat. (no kidding. im saving up for this too)
15. A new phone (another Motorola Razr)
16. that gorgeous black mirror from ikea (36 bucks)
17. GAP blouse in red, turquoise and purple!
18. Kate Spade's Tote.
19. To see lion king before he grads and leaves school.
20. last but certainly not least cos my list goes on longer than this. (I would like to say " i wish for his happiness" but im lying cos im half as sadistic as he is.)
I WANT TO SEE HIM EVERYDAY STARTING MONDAY.

on top of everything, i wish mummy, mis's mummy and nons gd health.
my prayers be with you.

qie never said it limited to things and not anything else.
:)

LOVEGURU.

2009-04-16T10:18:00.000-07:00

if i told you i was a stalker,
would you be surprised?
*evil grin

***

we're actually really similar are we not?
i suppose if we meet a fortune teller or some kinda gypsy that can tell things and match our names, our horoscopes, our date of births, our blood type or whatever they want to match...we'd be a perfect match.

i bet your ass on it.

Under a Blood Red Sky.

2009-04-14T08:58:00.001-07:00

the MUST read if you're a fan of illustrative novels.
(or rather if you're running away from reality to get smacked into another set of reality in the communist reign settings.)

Escapism, at its best.
9/10 stars!

***

its such talent to be able to write and illustrate your feelings and thoughts into pure words.
to be able to transport one to another world.

to actually reach out to their hearts, and it beats as one.
with your words.

Trust.

2009-04-13T08:50:00.000-07:00

Trust no one unless you have eaten much salt with him.
-Cicero

***

Well, the fact that I've eaten one too many salty things with himer makes me trust her lesser.
Gaaahhh.
I'm sucha baddie.

The Fast & The Furious.

2009-04-11T08:12:00.000-07:00

In the midst of all the wrong orders and terrible waiting time and all the hot boys and long waiting lines...
I had fun. Long-term friendships meant to last.

Fast & Furious 4 was perfect w/o the stiff seats.
Heart-pounding, seat grabbingly perfect.
I predict a sequel up soon?

We'll see.

Till we meet ladies, i love you!

Confidence Boost.

2009-04-10T07:33:00.000-07:00

Like isotonic drinks and energy packs, they boost something inside you, something like....
Adrenaline, power within to increase your physical performance level.
Likewise, a few good words coming from a few good people could repair and boost back your confidence level, especially if they've run down low for a certain unnerving period of time.

For those comforting words that hit right close to home, you've awaken all reasons to be sincere again.
To love unconditionally again.
To remember what i'm doing and most importantly, why im doing this.

I'm going all out for you. Just, you.
Thank you.

Noticeboard.

2009-04-08T06:37:00.000-07:00

The most well-received picture with 101 comments about the boy.
Dil, you're semi-famous.

But yes, even I think he looks gorgeous here.
And its not 'just' the shades. (:

Working on the club's notice board now. Pics will be up (and yes Yazid T.I a.k.a Chuck Bass, circulated) once its ready. Have patience hokay, Huda does things with love..so its going to take a lil sometime!

*grinz*

4 minutes.

2009-04-06T06:22:00.000-07:00

That last 4 minutes was the last stray of hope for happier teachers and easier chance to increase budget. I guess now that NYP lost to NUS at a soccer match means Live Audio has to work double hard to get our event approved and hit the success button.

***

Alvin couldn't stop YAPping away throughout the journey on how our campus is so "old" and so "uncool" and so "small" as compared to RP. Well, at least we realised what NYP has better. *winks

The coolest CCA (and the most gorgeous people), ever. Heh.

Thank you darlingsss for making me smile till my cheeks hurts.

Decided.

2009-04-05T07:14:00.000-07:00

"you can get aidan cos he looks bored"

can't help but feel that everything was so fake.
(i told you i'm not a fan of pageants)
ok i'll admit i'm jealous, i'm sick to my guts and very, very decided.

MOCKINGBIRD.

2009-04-03T05:06:00.000-07:00

THE DAMNED LIFT WOULDNT CLOSE WHEN I'M IN A 7-DWARFS NIGHTY FACING A MOCKINGBIRD.
HAH!

*hides under the covers for a week*

after this, i'm taking the stairs!

THE (as)S FACTOR.

2009-04-03T02:02:00.001-07:00

i'm not really a fan of beauty pageants of any kind.
(probably you'll understand why)

but i will do my very best to stay awake and hold on to my guts not to vomit to watch
THE 'S' FACTOR which will be airing this sunday.

a certain stranger actually wrote a lil article in his blog that enticed me to catch it.
and the next reason is of course the hot man.

nope, not the host.
but i think i spotted my baby as one of the "guys" in that show.
my hot hot baby.

i might be wrong, blame my "perfect eyeseight".
but his hairy chest, gorgeous build and almost balding head fits no other.

aah, let's see which hottie (or bimbo) gets in his book of records.
*grinz*

Shopaholic.

2009-04-02T02:09:00.000-07:00

The movie was perfect.
But it won't stop me from shopping.

Hahah.

Thank you to both of you (you know who you are).
For the movie + dinner.

Next time, please make it work without me.
heh.

:)

Next up: FAST & FURIOUS 4!! (hyperventilates)

Please make this one work babe, we've cancelled too much. heh.

"Yazid, pakai lampin?"

2009-03-31T07:51:00.001-07:00

One of the wierdest (and shortest) convos EVER.
note: this boy RARELY starts a convo with me on msn for the past 2 yrs that i've known him.

Charlize Amber Williams. says:
psst
   ∂ινασƒѕσяяσω®     says:
ooh hello!
Charlize Amber Williams. says:
ttyl
Charlize Amber Williams. says:
i gtg
Charlize Amber Williams. says:
sorry
   ∂ινασƒѕσяяσω®     says:
hahaha,its ok yazid
   ∂ινασƒѕσяяσω®     says:
see ya.

hahah. but it was nice to see that orange msn chatbox blinking with a diff name.
i think im getting too used to the quietness that i get shocked at any other people sayin hi to me.

oh huda, get a life!

Dreams.

2009-03-29T07:39:00.000-07:00

"I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long.

If we're in each others dreams, we can be together all the time."

I could remember every detail of the dreams i had of you and i.

Those little intricate details that woke me up every night from my sleep.

If i was in reality, it would have been perfect.
But the fact that i am DREAMING about it, scares me out of my wits.

Why, boy?
Why do you come to me in that manner?

In pitch black, you came.
Aroused from darkness, i succumbed.

Engaged.

2009-03-28T07:25:00.000-07:00

Saturday was bliss, in company of an old friend on her gorgeous yet simple engagement ceremony.
In awe, i stand happy and touched that i was invited to witness that changing phase in her life.

Rismalisa (finally babe, FINALLY!) & Suhaimi,
My most heartfelt congratulations to you both.

Mimpi yang Sempurna.

2009-03-24T05:12:00.000-07:00

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.
-Albert Einstein

Or let's just say, this is FATE.
*big silly huda grin*

March Babies.

2009-03-23T04:53:00.000-07:00

Ramen with the girls was almost perfect (until the math settled in. haha)
I Love you all!

Japanese in March, Korean in April?
*winks*

Accessorize.

2009-03-22T07:16:00.000-07:00

“You can always tell what kind of a person a man really thinks you are by the earrings he gives you”
- Audrey Hepburn.

Earrings, practically the ONLY accessory i ever bother to wear.
50 bucks, for a new (gorgeous) "toy".

Light.

2009-03-21T03:26:00.000-07:00

It only takes a good friend, a cuppa full of love and lotsa shopping to bring back the smile after a long week. Even if half of it was spent in silence.

For coffee & tea,
Thank you!

p/s: for FY + MAS, happy blessed b'day love(s)!

Sorry.

2009-03-15T23:29:00.000-07:00

That, is my sister.
One of the most gorgeous girls i've ever laid eyes on.
And i was a bad bad sister.

I really didnt mean to hurt you.
I miss you la.
Sorry ok.

Sorry.
:'(

JERAT.

2009-03-11T08:03:00.000-07:00

(nervous) soul brother in a whole different light.
sexaye!

Kau ciptakan rindu,
Kau buat hatiku terjerat tali cinta.

Contemplating Aryan.

2009-03-09T07:56:00.000-07:00

Put aside your phobic past and take a listen to the beautiful melody.
The rhythm of love, the music of life.

The smile of faith awaits you on the other side.
Sincerely.

To the young and the new, the old not forgotten;
Today, is OUR day.

FIGHT!

2009-03-07T23:55:00.000-08:00

it irritates me like nobody's business when you can get ALL other clips right and the one that i REALLY wanted messed up.

and it irritates me even MORE when you apparently read my email and still post up the damn WRONG videos!

argh. don't you work towards attaining customer's satisfaction?
negative word of mouth can cause you a bomb you know.

*evil grinz*

i'll be nice and not say a word, but would you do the same and POST UP MY FIGHT!
thank you very much.

Train Stations.

2009-03-06T00:17:00.000-08:00

3 long years.
a trainful of thoughts.

a journey of memories.
huda is experiencing high fever like no other.

if you can't reach me, i'm either asleep or dead.

and oh yes, i love you all too.
:D

Blessings.

2009-03-05T07:25:00.000-08:00

Happy blessed birthday, hun.
Congratulations on your engagement & gd luck for the wedding.

Will keep you in prayers,
Insya-ALLAH.

Slumdog Millionaire.

2009-03-02T07:21:00.000-08:00

Hindustan, in english.
Two thumbs up.

***

Scorpio.

2009-03-01T05:58:00.001-08:00

today, even my horoscope reading is on my side.
so people, huda is "choosy" for a reason. *winks to qie*

SCORPIO: 10/23 – 11/21

Daily Singles:
If you have to convince yourself that this person is 'the one,' you're trying too hard. Don't allow desperation to force you into a situation you're not entirely comfortable with. Better to be alone than to feel obligated to couple with someone you're not that into.

*wide grinz*

Wicked Love.

2009-02-27T01:39:00.000-08:00

The reason I rejected a safe relationship...

...was the desire to fall madly in love.

Alone.

2009-02-26T00:49:00.000-08:00

How can a fine young chap like you...
feel.....lonely?

Call me a sadist, but when i heard the news..i was more than happy.
I was celebrating joyous celebrations at the expense of your loneliness.

We share a common feeling.
You are, human afterall.

You do something to me.

2009-02-25T03:22:00.000-08:00

You do something to me
Something deep inside
I'm hanging on the wire
For a love I'll never find
You do something wonderful
Chase it all away
Mixing my emotions
Throws me back again

Hanging on the wire
I'm waiting for the change
I'm dancing through the fire
Just to catch a flame
To feel real again

You do something to me
Somewhere deep inside
Hoping to get close to
A peace I cannot find

Dancing through the fire
Just to catch a flame
Just to get close to
Just close enough
To tell you that...

You do something to me - something deep inside.

-Paul Weller